I have always had a slight issue with over committing myself to things. It is a problem that I have. I have too many people that I try and see all at once.
Yesterday I visited three separate groups of friends, it was lovely and the middle group, my youngest brother and his girlfriend let the dribble faced one sleep on their bed for his nap so it all worked out fine.
Today I am seeing one of my oldest friends and most favourite people, tomorrow another long standing and firm favourite friend. But I am also off to help on the bar that I helped out at last weekend again this weekend. I have to find time to cluster feed the small one, express milk to leave him with and wear out the fluffy family.
I want to do it all. And as I have proved in previous blogs, I DO need sleep https://aimeesbrainspace.wordpress.com/2015/02/02/no-sleep-please-we-are-clever/ so I really can’t make that be the thing that I stop doing to make everything else happen.
I find myself in a situation that I don’t like.
I may have to tell people that I can’t do it all.
I am not at all fond of this idea.
I cut my toenails this morning and noticed that the last time that I took time to paint my toenails was the week before I had my little man. That is more than five months ago. There are two millimeter stripes of colour on the tops of both of my big toenails.
Now having painted toenails is not important, but it is something that I have always liked.
How do I decide what is most important?
And why do I always think that things that are just for me are the least important?
I am painfully aware that life is very short. I want to be one of those people that did as much as possible, lived to the fullest so that when my time is up I can look back, happy and fulfilled.
I doubt I will spend my final moments wishing that my toenails were more perfect. But they are a signal to me that maybe I should be indulging myself in more “me time”.
So I am going to stop typing and pick up the book that I have been trying to read for the last few months instead of sweeping the floor while my small person has a nap.