I wonder how much of my life I have spent with a cold sometimes. I am one of those people who gets a cold at the change of every season and pretty much from the beginning of October to the end of February.
I thought I had broken the cycle after I had my baby. He was born on the seventh of October. I banned any sick people from coming to see me as I didn’t want to have an ill baby. I stayed cold free! It was the most wonderful winter for me health wise.
Now I am back in the world again it is like the cold germs had just waited, knowing that they had missed setting up camp in my head and building an enormous snot factory. Obviously they really love it in there.
Maybe there is a permanent building in my head that they close down for the summer, so they can all go on holiday and then rush back to. I don’t know but it is very annoying.
I have a huge stock of vitamin C, echinacea, zinc and other immune system boosting treasures. The germs sit and laugh at me swallowing huge horse tablets of vitamins each morning, trying to get them past my sore and swollen throat, knowing that they are not going to succumb to their healthy powers of goodness.
Sadly the germs also noticed the tiny dribbly person that is frequently attached to me as well. He shares my genes, they have also merrily leapt into his face. He sounds like Darth Vader a lot of the time. Now his nose dribbles as well as his mouth. I am quite impressed at his sneeze splatter range.
We seem to be mutating and passing the germs backwards and forwards. I imagine that as they level up in germ life, that by now they must have a full coat of armour to protect them from ever being killed off.
Lovely boyfriend gets sneezed on by both of us, he sits next to me and my tissue mountain, the fluffy family eat the tissues and then lick him. Somehow he is not festering in the pit of germs that we are. I am jealous and confused about this. Obviously we need one healthy family member to go and buy orange juice and tissues, but I would happily take a turn at being the healthy one.
The snot monsters are unwilling to release me from their slimy, coughing grip though.
So I am off to camp sofa, with my balm enriched tissues to ease my poor mucus passage (nose is a less suitable term currently). I shall sit with the baby and the dogs and gather strength so that I can carry on doing everything that I should be doing.
I will take my vitamins and keep hoping that the mighty horde are planning to go off on their summer holidays soon.
And maybe make friends with someone more sickly than me so that the germs find a new base camp and then run away. (insert evil laugh, broken with random coughing fits here).