I love books. I love to read so very much. But I actually love the books themselves. I love having bookshelves in my house. I like looking at other people’s books when I go to their houses. I get a bit too excited about going into books shops. One of my life goals is to write my own book.
Soon my family will be moving out of our lovely big house into a flat. A perfectly big enough for purpose flat. However, I don’t think that there is going to be enough room for lots of book shelves.
This means that I am going to have to have a cull.
I find this incredibly hard.
I never want to part with books. I will happily lend them out to anyone with the slightest passing interest, in case they read it. I never really expect them to make their way back to me. But taking a load, all at once and saying goodbye forever is really hard for me.
I had a massive cull two years ago, I basically said goodbye to an entire bookshelf worth of books that I thought I wouldn’t miss. I have wasted ages looking for several of them in the two years since.
So in truth, most of them I don’t miss. But the few that I do, how could I have known? I thought that I was done with them, but I wasn’t.
I know that I can have them on my kindle. I like the paper version though. I like the way they feel in my hands. I like the way they look on my shelves. I have already paid for them once, I don’t want to have to buy them all over again.
Now that I have a small person I read much less than I did before. It is hard as most of the time that I am sat down, I have a little person attached to me. I worry about dropping books on his lovely little face and if I try to read on my kindle he steals it straight away. I know this stage will not last forever, just because I might not have lots of time for reading now, does not mean that I won’t in the future.
I am a person who genuinely loves getting books vouchers as a present. I love being in the quiet of the bookshop, I love finding that a favourite author has published a new book. I enjoy talking to the people that work in the shop about what books they have enjoyed. I love getting the books home, making a cup of tea and disappearing into the new world that they have created for me.
I know that they are only things. I also know that there are obviously more than one copy of these books in the world, and I can always replace them in the future. But I don’t want to have to replace them, I want to drag them everywhere I go.
Why is that?
Do I need visitors to my home to know that I have the complete works of Shakespeare?
Yes, a little bit I kind of do. I like the conversations that get struck up in front of my bookshelves. When you find out that you both love something that you didn’t expect that person to like (I have a fondness for historical romance) or I can introduce someone to something that they might not have picked up otherwise.
I am going to have to let my book vanity go.
I am going to have to be practical. My son is eight months old and he already owns over sixty books. He can’t read. I don’t seem able to stop buying them though. Lovely boyfriend innocently asked what I would do if our mini person doesn’t enjoy reading. I was horrified at the prospect.
I know it may seem like a trivial thing to complain about. I have a great life, we are happy and healthy and about to embark on a very exciting new venture. There will be other books. I am no less of a person if I don’t have a giant home library.
But this isn’t about need.
it’s about want.
I want loads and loads of books.