For those of your who have grown a small human within your body you will be familiar with the all encompassing urge that is to nest. for those of you who have not, basically you become overwhelmed with the need (like actual physical,stops you from sleeping NEED) to clean and rearrange your home for the arrival of the new human.
After already punishing my vagina with the arrival of one mini person I can safely say that it is mostly totally unnecessary as your new person will not even use their new room for about six months and you will instead spread baby stuff over every surface of your home, not caring if some of it has sick/snot/poo on it.
Even though I am fully aware of this knowledge the nesting grip has tightened on my brain and will not stop until my mission is complete. I have been awake since half past four this morning thinking about how I want everything to look and wondering if I can afford the co-sleep cot thing this time (I really want one).
Lovely boyfriend has been working super hard lately, he no longer has another chef at work, in July he didn’t have a day off at all because there was nobody to run the kitchen if he wasn’t there. I know that especially in the summer being a chef is a tiring and horrible job and that he spends far too many hours a day stood up, sweating and cooking for mostly ungrateful punters who expect a kings feast for less than ten pounds. The last thing that he wants when he comes home is to be greeted by crazed woman who resembles a small planet ranting that in fact the best thing for our home is for us to swap bedrooms with the smallest person so that when they new one comes they will have the bigger room and more space for the four hundred thousand things that they need.
Sadly for lovely boyfriend this is exactly what happened.
So the first proper time off work that he has had in a month, which should consist of sitting down, drinking tea, and playing on the playstation has instead involved dismantling furniture, and moving the entire top floor of our house around (he must be so grateful that the bath cant be moved to another room right now.).
This is just another reason why he is the loveliest of lovely boyfriends. Without so much as a mutter under his breath he launched himself into the task and worked his socks off to make me happy. I know that he is scared that if he doesn’t do it then I will just do it anyway (I have past history of not being able to wait, and he got really cross when he found me carrying the freezer into the garden to defrost it the other day.) I was sat downstairs with our mini man watching Peppa pig and eating raisins when he came down for a break. I found myself watching him sit in the garden through eyes of complete adoration.
I am such a lucky lady. Lovely boyfriend already works so hard for our little family to make sure that we have a nice house and all the things that we need and then spends any spare time that he has mowing the lawn (that he dug up and replanted from seed in April because I was complaining that it was rubbish for children to play in, he even put up a fence so that the fluffy family wouldn’t ruin it once he was done) fixing things, playing with the fluffy children and small dribbly child and just generally being all round awesome.
I have tomatoes and strawberries growing amidst wild flowers in the garden now. I have a bigger washing machine because I was complaining that I had to do so much laundry so he made it that I can do less. He is super thoughtful and solves any complaints that I have if he can. He is a practical sort of person who is always thinking about how things can be improved, one of the first times that I told him that I loved him (you know when you are scared that they don’t love you too, or in the same way at the beginning of a relationship) what I actually said was “I love the way that your brain works.” But that is totally true and I do.
I try very hard to return the favour by making sure that the house is clean and tidy, his clothes are washed and dried, that there is dinner (depending on the challenge level of day it can range from stepford wife homemade feast to phoning for a take away, but there is always some sort of sustenance) and telling him every day how much I love him and how awesome that he is.
When I found out that we would be having another small person I was less than impressed and thrust four positive pregnancy tests at him with the shout of “Look what you have done!” (I blame hormones entirely for this, I cant wait to welcome our daughter into the world now, well not the labour bit, but everything else, but at the time I was overwhelmed as our son was only 16 months old and will have just turned two when she arrives.) He simply asked if he should go out again, and we had a big laugh at how my infertility that the doctors had told me about, was really not seeming to be preventing me getting pregnant all of the time.
I have been mentioning how much a vasectomy would be a great Christmas present for me this year, a lot. And I think round two of nesting might just be the thing that convinces him that actually it would be a champion idea, if it doesn’t then there will be the next bout of sleepless nights which should do the trick. I know that some families yearn to have a tribe of children to charge around the house, lovely boyfriend and I are both one of four, which is why I think we will be more than happy to stop at two. We both grew up in houses full of love and laughter, but also hand me downs, budget (if any) holidays, limited hobbies and never going on the school trips.
I hope that we can afford to take our children abroad, let them learn to play the harp or going skiing in France if they really want to. I also REALLY don’t want to be pregnant again. I am so blessed that I am going to have two children when I was told that I would never have one. Our son is my greatest achievement to date, even if he is still refusing to converse with me, gives me multiple heart attacks a day by being such a danger monkey and has such a strong yogurt addiction that he has learned how to open the child lock on the fridge. I can not wait for the next two months to go so that I can see what our daughter looks like and hold her in my arms.
I also want to sleep a full nights sleep and have underwired bras, at seven months pregnant these things are a distant memory. I only stopped breastfeeding child number one when I found out I was expecting number two, I miss wine and rum and gin so very much, we were always such fond friends and it seems like far too long since I went and had a party with them. I want to be able to sit a read a book that has chapters and a plot line and isn’t made of cardboard pages with animals or vehicles on them. I know that these days will come again, even though not for a while, and in the meantime I have the loveliest little family to spend my time with which is totally awesome in itself.
Right, I need to go now and clean all of the cupboards in the kitchen………