We have lived in our current house for three and a half years. Not being of the financially blessed disposition Lovely Fiance (yes he decided that he wanted an upgrade from boyfriend to husband status! Hooray!) and I are renters. This seems to mean that we will never be home owners as rent is terrifyingly high and after we pay our mental amount of rent and bills, then buy enough food to keep us all fed and healthy we have nothing left for our imaginary mortgage savings fund.
We have had a mainly brilliant time living in this house, ok, so the windows don’t fit properly and there is quite a significant breeze coming in upstairs at this time of year, the subsidence means that I can’t put my mascara down flat on my dressing table or it will roll onto the floor and it is on a main, busy road with lots of traffic and people constantly parking across our driveway so that we can’t leave when we need to, but these things seem to be lessening as issues now that we have found a new house to move into. Our house is a two bedroom house and the children keep on waking each other up at night so the hunt for a house with three bedrooms that would let us and our furry family live in it has been going on for over a year.
It has been a challenge as so many landlords are not happy to even consider us with our giant dogs and tiny children (yes some people will not rent to people with children either!) so to have found a house that we can (just about) afford in the right area that is happy to take us all has been amazing. I am excited about living on a much quieter road in a house that we can all have a bit of our own space and where there will be a designated place for all of the toys to go that isn’t in the living room. All of the windows fit properly and there is a real fire in the living room! So many boxes are ticked, it is exactly what I wanted. The bathroom in the new house makes our current bathroom look like it has been suffering from leprosy for the last ten years (would not be surprised if bathroom leprosy is an actual thing and that our bathroom does in fact have it.) The kitchen isn’t enormous but all of the cupboard doors are attached with handles that don’t snap off in your hands and it is at the front of the house so the dogs won’t be able to sit in a front window waiting to terrify the postman everyday anymore (our current postman will be so relieved when we move.).
As renters you are not supposed to get attached to your house, as it isn’t actually yours. We have been given lots of freedom by our landlord here, we have decorated the kitchen, hallway and bedrooms, we have redone the garden, it all looks very nice and exactly how we want it to. I went into both of my labours in bed here, I have brought both of my babies home from the hospital to this house, this where all of the first smiles, steps, tantrums etc have happened.
As much as I am looking forward to my family living somewhere that suits us better, now that I am starting to pack all of our things up into boxes, I am starting to feel sad that we are leaving our home. Because it is our home here, it has been happy and warm and safe and most of the time I have loved it here. Like a holiday romance that you didn’t mean to get attached to I am worried how much I am going to miss it. We all know that it is pointless to say that you will try and keep that flame alive, once everyone leaves, it fades.
Now the worries over new house with its beautiful sexy new bathroom and kitchen are creeping in, yes its much younger and perkier, but will it be as nice? Will the children like it? Will having to move preschool break the heart of my eldest as he is obsessed with the woman who runs it (he demands to see “his” Emma every day which is challenging on the non preschool days)? Will the not very good sleeping that they have been doing turn into awful sleeping? Will there be a dog near us that is worse that our neighbours one that attacks the fence every day? Will our new neighbours listen to even worse music at full blast for twelve hours every Friday? What if they do that every day? Can we really afford such a huge increase in rent?
These things are now what I think about when I lie in bed at night trying to sleep (obviously inter spliced with worrying that the children have died because they are asleep in their own beds and aren’t making any noise so I have to go on a ninja tiptoe mission to their room to watch them breathe for a bit whilst I worry) funnily enough these late night moments of insanity are actually helpful, the wonky floorboards creak as I try to silently move a meter across the room and I am freezing because the wind is blowing in the right direction to be coming straight through the rubbish window, a teenage couple are having an argument in the street outside our house (happens so often that I wondered if they had started filming a less attractive version of Hollyoaks on our road) and the traffic noise is still startlingly loud at midnight and I remember all of the very excellent reasons that we first decided to look for somewhere to move to.
The better the devil you know saying is only good when you don’t mind the devil that much. But as much as I will forever look back on our years here as wonderful and as time passes forget any of the more negative aspects of living here, I know that leaving our little home is the right thing for us to do and I will just have to stay hopeful that our next house becomes as much of a home to us as this one has been. I have remembered that the reason this house is our home is that we all live it it, so where ever Lovely Fiance, my little matching faced mini people and my furry friends live will feel like my home. As corny as it sounds without all of them I don’t think I would have cared about his house even half as much, making a nice place for my children to live has been at the fore front of my mind since I discovered I was pregnant for the first time.
Also if anyone want to give us a pile of money so that we can buy our own house and make it an a forever home, that would be awesome. Just saying.